he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
