O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
