I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
