Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
