Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
