I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
