last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
