its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
