sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
