i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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