im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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