I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
