um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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