Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize