dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
