He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
