Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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