Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
