I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
