When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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