As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
