Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
