I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
