Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
