She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
