Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The air taste purple.
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