My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
