if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
