Do you still have your period?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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