white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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