glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
