took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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