I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
