My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
