I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
