If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
