what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
