Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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