Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
