I'm jealous of your bromance
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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