Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize