my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
