Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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