Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize