some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
