I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
