words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
