This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
