covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
