I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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