The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
