I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sext me about skeletons
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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