I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize