At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
