so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
