How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
