Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize