So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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