Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
