I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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