dude i'm inner monologue high
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
