If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
