In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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