Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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