i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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