she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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