No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
