Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
