and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
