hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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