Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
