On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
