I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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