he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
