So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
