Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
