Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
