so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize