you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
