Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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