so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
