I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize