it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
